“Their cheery countenance, coupled with a need to please and throw a partner off the tracks, can result in a generous change of behavior.” “People are sometimes in a better mood than usual when they cheat,” Durvasula says. Take note if your partner also seems to be peppier when they’re piling on the presents.
You're getting a lot of gifts.Ĭheaters do this to “cover the stench of guilt,” Durvasula says. “Hunching over is retreating into the fetal position-something people do when they feel ashamed or they know they have done something wrong,” Glass says. If their perfect posture has suddenly given way, that could be a red flag. “Rocking back and forth shows they are nervous around you,” she says. But when your cohort is hiding something, look for unusual (and often unconscious) habits, suggests body language expert Lillian Glass, Ph.D.
The way they respond can be telling.īy now, you two should be pretty comfortable chatting. But if it feels off to you, ask what’s going on, Klow says. “If your partner's actions start changing, then it might be a sign of infidelity.” It could also be that their friends are having a tough time, or they're wrapped up in work. “Our minds are wired to look for inconsistencies-it helps protect us from something unexpected happening,” Klow says. And, they're constantly texting.Īgain, a change in behavior is key here. So if someone who's always relied on the bathroom stash of magazines to get them through their potty time suddenly starts relying on their phone, it might be worth keeping an eye on. “They know that messages from the other person can come at any time,” she says. That’s definitely more concerning, according to Durvasula. The issue arises if this is suddenly a new thing for your partner. The phone goes everywhere with them-even the bathroom.įirst, a caveat: Some people are seriously hooked on their phones and tote them along out of habit, or boredom-that doesn’t mean they’re cheating, Klow says. “They operate on a ‘need to know’ basis, which is not healthy for a relationship.” Although neglecting to mention that time they grabbed drinks with co-workers could be completely innocuous-maybe happy hour just wasn't that memorable-if the behavior persists, it could reflect general dishonesty, Klow says. People who are cheating “tend to engage in sins of omission,” Durvasula says. If they get flustered, and it's not about the money, it could suggest that something isn’t right. If your partner gets weird about this, don’t be afraid ask what’s behind the hesitation. “A major commitment makes it more difficult to pull out of a relationship quickly,” adds licensed clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?. And, while it’s possible that your partner’s hesitancy is just due to financial concerns, it can also be a tip-off that they’re cheating-especially if this wasn’t an issue in the past. “Commitments like buying a house or car indicate that the other person is in the relationship for the long run,” says licensed family therapist David Klow and author of You Are Not Crazy: Letters From Your Therapist. They're reluctant to make any big joint purchases. Whether you have a fleeting concern about new behaviors or you’re seriously worried that your spouse could be sleeping with someone else, here are some of the more unusual signs of cheating to watch out for. Signs You Might Be in an Unhappy Relationship.That said, merely hoping for an eventual confession won’t soothe the frantic worries in your head before then. Ultimately, the best way to know for sure is confirmation from your spouse or significant other, the person they’re cheating with, or both. Often, though, the warning signs of infidelity are far more subtle.īefore you can cope with the difficult business of what to do next, whether it’s seeking relationship therapy or filing for divorce, you need to figure out whether your concern is even valid. It can feel like the ground is shifting under you as you question everything you knew about your relationship-plus, wondering whether you’re making it all up in your head can erode your mental health.īut how can you tell when your partner is lying about cheating, or “casually” trying to cover their tracks (or so they think)? If your partner comes home late at night reeking of another person's signature scent, it seems pretty obvious that something is amiss. To experience a hunch that an affair is still going on may be even worse. The sneaking suspicion that you’ve been cheated on is one of the worst feelings in the world.
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